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Teen dating violence is at epidemic proportions an estimated 
report being abused physically, sexually, or emotionally 
by their partner 

Know the myths and facts about relationships.

Myth: “He’s the boss.”
Fact: This myth is based on the false belief that men should lead and women should follow.  In a healthy relationship, neither person controls or serves the other.

Myth: “She (or he) owes me sex because I paid for the date.”
Fact: Paying for a date, or buying a gift, doesn’t entitle someone to sex.  No one ever owes anyone sex.

Myth: “Love and sex are the same thing.”
Fact: A person who wants to have sex with you does not necessarily love you.  Love involves much more than physical attraction – and takes time to develop.  And having sex to keep someone interested can backfire – or worse.  Remember, having sex even once can result in an unplanned pregnancy, an STD (sexually transmitted disease) or both!


Myth: “Love at first sight is true love.”
Fact: “Instant love” can be exciting and intense.  But:

  • There’s no guarantee it will last.
  • True love takes time to grow.


Myth: “Jealousy is a sign of love.”
Fact: You may feel flattered if your boyfriend or girlfriend acts jealous or texts you constantly (to find out where you are or who you’re with, for example). But:

  •  Jealousy and possessiveness are not signs of love.  They’re signs of insecurity – and a need to control you.
  • Trust and respect, not jealousy, are signs of love.


Myth: “No really means yes.”
Fact: No means no – even if the person says it another way.  For example, he or she might say:

  • “I don’t know.”
  •  “Let’s take our time.”
No matter how it is said, it means no!  In a healthy relationship, each person finds out what the other is really feeling – 
and respects his or her limits.

 The above information was obtained from the What Teens Should Know About Healthy Dating Relationships brochure, Channing Bete Company, Inc.  2011 Edition.

Dating Violence – Facts You Should Know

Dating violence happens when one partner in a relationship abuses the other.

Dating violence is about power. 
Whether through words or actions, the abuse is meant to control or hurt another person.

It’s very common.
Chances are, someone you know has been a victim of dating violence.  Most (but not all) victims are women.


The effects can be serious.

They can be:

  •  physical (bruises, broken bones)
  • emotional (depression, low self-esteem)
  • deadly.
Victims may come to view abuse as a normal part of relationships.  
But abuse is never normal!


 Dating can be a positive part of your life.


Good dating experiences can help you learn about:

  •  yourself – who you are and who you want to be
  • others – and the qualities that are most important to you.


In a healthy relationship, both people:

  • trust and respect each other
  •  are fair, open and honest
  • feel free to share thoughts and ideas
  •  accept that even healthy relationships don’t always work out.


But when dating involves abuse, there’s no chance for a healthy relationship to develop.


Dating violence can take many forms.
And in many cases, it’s a crime.


Emotional and verbal abuse may include:

  •  keeping a person away from family, friends or interests
  • insults and threats
  • controlling a person – how to dress, what to do, what to buy
  • using technology (cell phones, e-mail, texting, online social networks) to control, monitor, or harass a person.


Physical abuse may include:

  • punching, kicking, shaking, slapping or choking
  • attacking with a weapon

Sexual abuse is rape or any other kind of unwanted sexual comment, advance contact.


More facts

Abuse is never the victim’s fault.
Abusers often blame the other person for “causing” the abuse.  But the only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser!


You always have the right to say no to sex.
This is true even if you’ve had sex before.  And remember, you never “owe” anyone sex.


Abuse often follows a pattern.
After the abuse, the abuser may make excuses or apologize.  He or she may promise to stop and be extra nice.  But abuse usually happens again and gets worse over time.


You can reduce the risk of dating violence.


Be direct.
Let your partner know that you won’t tolerate abuse.  Share your sexual limits early and clearly.

Stay in control.
Don’t use alcohol or other drugs.  Have your own way home and a cell phone, just in case.

Trust your instincts.
Get to know someone before going out alone with him or her.  Or, go out with a group.


Be careful of dating people who:

  •  put down others often
  •  are aggressive, physically verbally
  •  abuse alcohol or use other drugs
  •  want to always be in control
  • get very angry or jealous


You can end an unhealthy relationship.


Get help.

  • If you’ve been physically hurt, get medical help.  If you fear you’re in danger, call 9-1-1 right away.
  • Talk with a friend, family member or health-care provider.
  • Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at:

-          1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)

-          1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

 Get out.

  • Make a plan to end things safely.  Contact the services above.
  • Resist the temptation to give the person one more chance.

If you know a victim of dating violence:

  • Believe and support the person.  Listen without judging.
  • Encourage the victim to get help.


You deserve to have a happy, healthy relationship!

 The above information was obtained from the Dating Violence Facts You Should Know brochure, Channing Bete Company, Inc.  2011 Edition.

A special thanks to the Verizon Foundation for making this project possible. 


PO Box 1854  |  Salina, KS 67402-1854  |  (785) 827-5862 or (800) 874-1499  |  fax: (785) 827-2410

     Services of DVACK are free and confidential


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